United We Stand

Today, while sitting at a red light behind a red pickup truck, my attention was drawn to a decal on its back window. It read 'United We Stand', and underneath the words was a polar bear surrounded by a pack of voracious dogs moving in for (what appeared to be) the kill.

I find a certain, strange pleasure in wondering about ambiguous bumper stickers, blinding billboards, effusive highway graffiti. I'm almost giddy when I come across one. Oh, the mystery! The hidden meanings! I'm mainly interested in the origins of such oddities, and the people passionate enough about any given topic to go to such great lengths to have their message heard. I'll give a few real-life examples, some of my favorites:

1. A billboard towering high above the interstate- wildly bright orange background, huge bold black letters reading, 'HAVING A HEART ATTACK? PULL OVER AND CALL 911.' Huh. My first thought is, well- my real first thought is- what kind of an idiot needs a billboard to remind him (or her) that he's having a heart attack? So, my second thought then: is this a memorial of some kind? Did someone die here from a heart attack? Was this put up by a loved one hoping to honor their fallen friend, as well as a preemptive warning for those yet to come?

2. Graffiti scrawled on an overpass- 'L, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE TREES- P'. I love it so much! Who is 'L'? And who is 'P'? What is the nature of their relationship? I love the poetic quality of this- this is no 'Kevin+Laquisha 4Ever'- this is whimsical, imaginative. And then there are the several possible meanings. Does P mean that he (or she) loves L more than he loves trees? Or does P mean he loves L more than the trees love L? Or maybe the trees are a metaphor for something?

3. A cute little message spray-painted in green cursive across my parents' garage in the middle of the night a few years ago: 'F*** YOU SHANYLE I F****** LOVE YOU!' (My censoring.) Now, my questions. Who the f*** is Shanyle, and what is the nature of her apparently polar relationship with this outraged, love-crazed lunatic of a boyfriend? Did he get the wrong house on accident? Or maybe she drives by everyday on her way to work...maybe we've even seen her. (All wonderings aside, I can only hope to one day drive by a random house and see a love letter of my very own: 'F*** you Hannah I f****** love you!')

Anyway. So, back to this particular bumper sticker. I have some questions. Assuming the 'We' is the United States of America: are we the polar bear, being savagely attacked by the rest of the ravenous world? Or, are we the pack of dogs, uniting behind the sacred cause of destroying and potentially devouring the polar bear? What does the polar bear represent?...

Unfortunately, the light turned green and the truck was off, leaving me in the wake and roar of it's exhausting broken muffler. For the rest of the day though, I'm left with this image: somewhere in the world, there is a factory cranking these bumper stickers out, maybe right now. Somewhere there is someone thinking these messages up and slapping them on adhesive. If I were to find this someone, I would ask him what it means, the polar bear and the dogs. Would he know?